lunes, 22 de junio de 2015

I'm still standing

I've been wanting to write this post for a while, and I read something Jasmine posted on her blog Color U Bold that really inspired me and kind of helped me find the way to share this as a triumph/inspiration story instead of a "that's so sad I'm sorry for her kind of story".

That post was in her Tough Talk Tuesdays series and it's called I'm still standing; definitely worth reading so make sure you do!


So here we go, I'm so nervous!

As some of you might know from previous posts, I had a hard life; I was going to say childhood but it lasted all the way until I was 20 or 21.

It all started when my parents, both drug addicts, lost our custody. My little sister and I went to live with one of my aunts, I thought we were finally happy... I was 4 and my sister was just 1 year old. We went to live with my aunt, who had a really big family, 5 kids! I thought it was the best thing that could have happened to us...

A year later my aunt passed away, God bless that amazing woman, so my sister and I had to leave. 

We went to live to the "nuns house" as we liked to call it. It was really hard at first but we were really happy there. We made friends, I went to school for the first time and I was getting really good grades! They were so proud of me there it made me feel great.

But a year or so later my other aunt decided we had to go live with her, and so we did. It wasn't bad at first but then, when I was 7 something happened...

I was on the couch the first time it happened, I had fallen asleep and woke up to find my uncle touching me... 
I didn't know what to do, I didn't know what to say. I just froze. He told me not to tell anyone or else I'd be living in the streets and no one would ever love me. 

It happened every night until I was 18. I couldn't do anything about it, how would I? My little sister would suffer, everyone would be hurt if I talked about it, I couldn't be so selfish...

My little sister, I was so protective of her, I felt like she was my responsibility, and somehow she was. If he did that to me then he wouldn't go near her right?

Well when I was 18 I couldn't take it anymore, guys I've only told you about what he did, but I didn't mention that my aunt also liked to beat us up.

So, as I was saying, when I was 18, I remember it like it was yesterday; maybe that's my biggest problem... I can't forget any of it. I was in my room when my aunt got in there and started hitting me. That's the night I ran away.

I didn't get any of my things, I didn't want anything from them; I just wanted to run...

But don't feel sorry for me, the point of this post is not only to get it out but also, to let you know it's okay. As Jasmine said, I'm still standing. Stronger than ever.

I feel so blessed today, I'm 26 years old, I worked to pay for my college degree, I got a good job and now I have so many people that love me, I have my two pets that I love more than life itself and I live in this amazing house that now, I can afford.

I've come a long way haven't I? So believe me, if you're reading this, it really does get better. You just have to keep going, stay positive, and hopefullyl one day I'll be reading your inspiration story and cry of pure happiness, as I'm crying now.

I love you.




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